Bottled ※ Brain

Each year I endeavor to read as many books as I can. These are the books that kept me company in 2019. Out of Africa by Isak Dinesen. Danish baroness Karen Blixen's account of living a in Africa. She lived a hard life—her husband, who had many affairs, at some point gave her syphilis—but there is no bitterness in this account. Only servants, dogs, lions, chieftains, tribal politics, and farm life. I had the feeling that she left so many things unsaid. Cue Ronan Keating's "When You Say Nothing At All." White Teeth by Zadie Smith. Why had I only discovered Zadie Smith this year? I remember starting on her novel when I saw an old secondhand copy in our bookshelf at home. Her debut novel was about family and friendships, religion and secularism, Muslims and Jehovah's witnesses, Bangladesh and Jamaica. Peasants and Other Stories by Anton Chekhov. Shortcomings by Adrian Tomine. A graphic novel that I read on a plane ride. The Science Fiction Hall of Fame,

Today marks the end of January. I have, for the past 31 days, attempted to post at least one blog entry, mostly of photos taken in my past travels—snapshots of people, events, random scenes of the every day that are stored in my private cloud. The experience has been rewarding. There has been a rekindling of my fascination for blogging, never mind the fact that online traffic has markedly dwindled. In a way, it doesn't really matter. I still find, as when I had begun this website, that writing is therapeutic. Today also marks another day closer to the end of clinical fellowship. That I will leave the hospital in a few weeks and start a new routine of studying for the board exam is a reality that I both relish and dread. I will, once again, find myself at a crossroad—the question of whether I should start my clinical practice or get further training elsewhere. My soul, however, sings the hymn, "Because He Lives," whose familiar chorus goes, "Because He lives, I can

Mavis Gallant was legendary. I reread her stories because they make me so happy. Her technique is fluid and masterful that the reader wouldn't notice she'd been doing literary gymnastics with her sentences. That her characters spoke to her, that she knew them intimately enough to write about them—this video was a delight to watch.

Our free walking tour with Ada was fun and educational.

My good old TWSBI Diamond 580 Aluminum is among my favorite every-day carries (EDCs) because it's a trustworthy writer with an extraordinarily huge ink capacity (2 mL). If you go on clinics at a government institution where I train, you'll know that one full ink refill (2 mL) can last at most two full clinic days. And I don't write a lot for each patient: I keep my entries clear and concise, but I sometimes do write essays to explain my medical management strategies to the other specialties—an exception rather than the rule. No wonder why TWSBI is a favorite among fountain pen users at PGH. It has a great value for money, it's not flashy, it's meant for heavy duty. These past weeks, I've had difficulty refilling the pen because the piston no longer glides as smoothly as when I had bought it last year. I know, and my kid brother Sean has been telling me, that I should apply silicone grease to the insides of the 580 as well as the area around the rim of the rubb

Taken during one of my mother's travels.

I wrote for Roger's birthday that he takes excellent pictures of sunsets.

I get how Marriage Story (dir. Noel Baumbach) articulates eloquently and artfully the pain of divorce, but never have I seen a film highlight unspoken love between two people who go through the painful process. One wonders why they had to go through it when they clearly loved each other still. The final scene, where Charlie Barber (Adam Driver) reads aloud the list of good things about him by his former wife Nicole (Scarlett Johansson), just when as he guides through his son read a written manuscript (which would later turn out to be Nicole's list), was a brilliant, heart-breaking moment.

Elise , directed by Joel Ferrer, reveled in its simplicity and innocence. It was predictable and carefree. It did not aspire to become anything but a Filipino coming-of-age romantic film set in a small town in Bulacan, where teachers were still feared, where students walked to school, and where, on the way home, one could still appreciate the greenery. The houses were old but homey, draped with see-through curtains similar to what we used to (and still) have at home. The scenes were tinted with a warm glow; it must have been stifling in those houses, what with the lack of air-conditioning, but nobody perspired. But there was comfort in knowing how things would end as soon as the film had begun. There was Bert (Enchong Dee), shy and reserved and whose tongue failed him when he wanted to say something, falling in love with Elise (Janine Gutierrez), a strong-willed girl who promised him, “Ako ang bahala sa iyo,” until she left for Manila. They lost touch, fell in love with other peo

Many of my friends like to travel. The sense of adventure, along with the pervasive culture of rabid instant documentation, has cultivated in them the thrill of taking good photos. They remain very private, however, but occasionally send me photographs by way of email or Telegram. Rich, a private man, shared me with me his photos from his Portugal and Spain trip recently . Roger, who has spent his weekend in Pangasinan, sent me these: nostalgic images from the countryside. "Can I blog these?" I would ask. Of course, they would agree! What are friends for? Roger takes great photos of sunsets.

Found myself at Booksale SM Manila and bought a secondhand copy of Laurent Binet's HHhH , translated in English by Sam Taylor. HHhH stands for Himmlers Hirn heist Heydrich or "Himmler's brain is called Heydrich." The novel is told from the POV of a nameless author. It starts rather boring, but the rhythm picks up—a uniquely riveting book. It's about the assassination attempt against Reinhard Heydrich , Hilter's trusted hand in implementing the final solution to the Jewish question. It's not for nothing that Heydrich was called the Blond Beast and the Butcher of Prague—he was determined to execute all Jews, convinced of his Nazi ideology, in total loyalty to Hilter's Germany. I'm more than halfway through the novel, and I'm in now in the part where Jozef Gabčík and Jan Kubiš  jump off the plane with parachutes, part of the clandestine Operation Anthropoid of the Resistance in Czechoslovakia: they will assassinate Heydrich himself. I'd alr

New South Wales, Australia

EDSA Shangri-La, Mandaluyong City. I think Rich may be Roger's favorite travel companion.

I wrote a paper on suffering for an English class under Prof. Carlos Aureus when I was in my college freshman year. I wish that manuscript would never see the light of day, for it sounded like it was written out of theory rather than experience, a case of a young man taking himself seriously, taking on ambitious topics such as human suffering for a class requirement. I don't ever recall having suffered significantly before I was 16. But Prof. Aureus was gracious enough to give me an uno for the subject—not so much for the quality of the final paper but for the attempt to understand the Book of Job. My 5-day Bible Reading Plan, recommended highly by Tim Challies , took me today to the first three chapters of Job. I just want to share an incomplete page of my journal today. If you're interested (i.e., if you're one of those people who are fascinated with writing materials), I'm using a Kaweco 70's Old Soul (broad nib) inked with Pilot Iroshizuku 100th limited ed

Many thanks to my stellar dear friend, Everly Ramos, who sent me this postcard from the US, with a sweet note in her exquisite handwriting.

As I was about to cross the street on my way to the hospital, I saw this commentary on capitalism.

This year I'm treating myself to Memoirs and Remains of the Rev. Robert Murray M'Cheyne . It's a long book, and I suspect that it will take me an entire year to finish. I downloaded the scanned copies of the book freely made available by Google . I'm reading the PDF in my Kindle, in landscape mode. I like how it looks (I'm sharing the actual screenshots), a lot like reading an old copy in a dusty library. The book starts with how Rev. M'Cheyne came to a saving knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ. The succeeding chapters give snapshots of his journal entries. Here, we read of his despair over his sin. "What a mass of corruption I have been! How great a portion of my life have I spent wholly without God in the world; given up to sense and the perishing things around me." "Restrained from open vice by educational views and fear of man, how much ungodliness has reigned within me! How often has it broken through all restraints and come out in

Taken during the PSMO Mid-year Convention. We looked for the best Cebu lechon—what better way to explore the country's oldest city than with my seniors in oncology!

There are days when the lukewarm soul needs a little nudging. These moments are marked by episodes of dry prayer devoid of passion, fervor, and love. When these episodes come, I force-feed on the Psalms—a wise counsel of my youth pastor a few years ago. Sometimes, when I don't know what to pray for, or when my praying becomes repetitive, I turn to the Valley of Vision , a collection of Puritan prayers compiled by Arthur Bennett. I love the prayers in that book (I've shared some of them here and here ). They're so poetic, with beautiful words, wonderful imagery, and timeless truths that stir the sleeping soul. I also turn to Heavenward , a blog by Scotty Smith. Today, for example, he shares the prayer, " Craving the Day of No More Sickness ," which resonates with me deeply, I who have a number of friends suffering from some form of illness or debilitating disease. Today, I ordered Piercing Heaven: Prayers of the Puritans edited by Robert Elmer via Amazon

Grand Hyatt Hotel, Erawan, Bangkok, Thailand

In my limited travels I've never lost a luggage. I suppose that's largely due to the fact that I don't like checking in luggage and paying for them. I also pack very lightly—if, say, I had forgotten something, I could just buy it at my destination. I usually only have a small roller suitcase and a backpack. In the ministry of carrying and lifting things, my kid brother Sean calls me useless. (Note to self: arm exercises!) I know of friends whose suitcases got lost in the complications of air transfers and stop-overs—not lost, only left behind, to be sent to the destination hotel after two days, in which case they would need to get another pair of underwear or resort to finding a change of clothes to tide things over. One of more interesting things I read this week is this Instagram-story-esque of what happens to luggage lost and found in German trains. I took a screenshot.  The Secret Afterlife of Lost German Luggage  by Sami Emory and Andreas Meischner. After accountin

This is what frame shifts do—they distort the intended effect. It applies to photographs, it applies to DNA replication .

Bondi Beach, Sydney, Australia

In Annecy, France. I enjoyed this whole day of walking and touring with my friend and colleague, Harold Tan. He designed the day's itinerary.

This year, I will take photos of my actual journal entries and share them here occasionally. This is my standard handwriting. I write very fast, often legibly—a life-skill for doctors who have lots of patients to see. For this entry, I used the journal Fred Ting gave me as pasalubong when he went to Seoul. I used my favorite Pelikan 4001 blue-black ink and the Parker pen (broad nib, hard, steel) that my patient gave me . How would you describe your penmanship?

Watched this film in Netflix.

Bobby, Norman, and Papau took me along with them to visit the sights of Cebu, Philippines's oldest city when we were there last year for an oncology mid-year convention. Cebu called the "Queen City of the South," which is partly correct in that it is south of Manila but is actually in the central Visayas region. I like taking photos of old stores because they can disappear anytime. At the speed at which things are changing, the Fa Fortuna Bakery  in the old central district might be replaced by newer, fancier malls.