Saturday, September 3, 2005

Looking back

This is an email I sent to friends on November 8, 2004. I was just reminded of how faithful the Lord truly is—day in or day out. I hope you too will be reminded of that precious truth.

It is finished.For three agonizing days, I have been enrolling.

For students in other schools, this must be an exaggeration; here in UP, it is as normal asseeing protesters demanding for Gloria's resignation.

For three days, I have lined up for queues just to get the subjects that would interest me. These queues are long; the processing ofdocuments and the like is so slow you'd wonder if there's progress at all. For three days, I have rushed to and fro the large, wide campus that is Diliman.

There's always the adrenaline rush when I hear that subjects are still open for pre-enlistment.

"Saan? May open pa bad'un?"

"Ilan pa ba ang available?"

"Magpe-petition ba kayo for EnviSci?" Oblivious to everything else, I would follow the flow of people; again, lining up for the nth time for my turn. Often, my actions would end in futility. It was as if I was going to have a nervous breakdown. "Isang MST nalang." I was, in fact, relying on my efforts, not entirely dependingon the One who sovereignly controls everything. I texted my brother tohelp me; he replied: Lance, patience is the gift of the Holy Spirit. Trust in the Lord. I remembered the things I studied in my quiet time the night before: The Lord engineers all our circumstances; the events that happen are ordained by Him. Or, as Kuya Lito puts it, "He directs the steps and stops." He does this to test our faith, so that trusting Him would be as natural as breathing.

Why don't we trust in Him? Is it because we are, in fact, underestimating His power? Are we thinking so low ofHim? Today, I write this as a person convicted of the sin of doubt. Not just once, I doubted the Lord. I have so many things to be thankful for, especially this: I am enrolled, at last. "Welcome to UP," they tell me. But more than this, it is my prayer that someday, my faith will become like Martha's. "Do you believe this?," Jesus asked her. She said,"Lord, I believe you." Praise be to the Lord!

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