Tuesday, January 16, 2007

The Durian Story


Four years ago, I dropped by in Manila to see Manong Ralph, who was in his freshman year in college then. Over the phone, he told my parents he wanted durian, that glorious-smelling, scrumtpuous, pulpy, milky fruit which happened to be his favorite. Until know, he still has the uncanny ability to finish off one fruit entirely on his own, without ever getting sick of its taste.

So before I went to the airport, my parents stuffed more or less seven seeds into a plastic container, which I had to handcarry so I could give it to him the moment I'd see him at NAIA in Manila. It was as big as a normal lunchbox, sealed with layers of packing tape and cellophane wrappers. This was a necessary precaution so as to lock in the smell. People inhabiting Luzon, after all, find durian the most disgusting, awfully smelling, and ugliest fruit ever created. Their noses can detect even the slightest concentration in the air, and the smell would immediately repel them as if it were a biochemical weapon of some sort.

I was confident that no smell had leaked out because, in the first place, I was allowed to board the plane, and nobody complained during the flight. Upon disembarking, however, I overheard comments like, "Ano ba 'yan! Ang baho?" and "Ay, ano 'yan, durian? Ang baho!" "Pano nakapasok 'yan dito?" The Luzon-people-durian-alarm-system was visibly at work.

I thought, "Is it possible that the smell came from my bag?" I was tense, I was irate, I was nauseous. They could have me imprisoned, or worse, shot, for having brought an alcohol-free, illegal-substance-free, love-filled gift to my brother.

So you know what I did?

Without batting an eyelash, I joined the cacophony of complaint. I said, "Ay, oo nga, ang baho! Amoy durian! Yuccch!"

Minutes later, I saw it, like an apparition: a scene of a man carrying two huge durian fruits stacked on his baggage, which he dragged around the arrival area with his trolly.

It wasn't me, after all. The smell didn't come from me.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hahaha this is really funny Lance :-)

Wed Jan 17, 03:31:00 PM GMT+8  
Blogger Lance said...

Haha, natatawa rin ako everytime I remember it, Jweffieeee.

Wed Jan 17, 09:23:00 PM GMT+8  
Blogger Unknown said...

HAHAHA... nakaka-realate ako Lance.
di ko rin maintindihan kung bakit ayaw ng mga tao sa DURIAN, mabango nga ung DURIAN eh, masarap pa! YUMMY!

Walk-Out sa Klase!!!

Wed Jan 17, 09:59:00 PM GMT+8  
Blogger Lance said...

tama, tama. magprotesta tayo! hahah, ang kuleeet, baste!

Wed Jan 17, 10:04:00 PM GMT+8  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"...I was tense, I was irate, I was nauseous."
Hahaha, this is sooo Senator Defensor, Lance.

Thu Jan 18, 12:08:00 AM GMT+8  
Blogger merilion said...

simply hilarious, lance. i could just imagine your face then. hehehe. =P

mga manilenyo talaga, manul. sorry, i don't know the tagalog for it. hehehe. =P

Thu Jan 18, 05:34:00 PM GMT+8  
Blogger Lance said...

true, true, paul. it's a shame i didn't quote her.

kuya butch, grabe, my hands really got clammy. oo gani, mga manul sila. hahaha. well, i say that lovingly. ;)

Thu Jan 18, 08:12:00 PM GMT+8  
Blogger Gilbert Yap Tan said...

Hi Lance. taga davao diay ka? this is such a good story! :)

Thu Feb 12, 12:12:00 PM GMT+8  
Blogger Lance said...

Thanks, Sir. Taga-Koronadal. Uso lang ang durian at that time. :D

Thu Feb 12, 05:05:00 PM GMT+8  

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