Friday, September 29, 2017

Hymns versus modern worship

The Babylon Bee is brilliant. This cracked me up: Hymns vs. Modern Worship.

Hymns: A hymn is a song that’s typically broken up into four or five verses, but no one ever sings the second verse. Hymns usually use lots of words no one knows the meaning of anymore, like “interposed” and “Ebenezer.” What the heck’s an Ebenezer, people? Why are we singing about the Scrooges? Above all, each hymn must fully articulate a point of doctrine as well as a systematic theology book might, without ever once pricking the singer’s emotions, since he doesn’t know what the words mean anyway.

Modern worship: Modern worship songs tend to be written only by qualified theologians. Haha, just kidding. They’re written by high schoolers, scribbled down on the back of napkins at night clubs when the inspiration strikes. CCLI rules also dictate that the modern worship song must contain one bridge repeated as many times as necessary to evoke the desired emotional response, but may have no more than four words in the entire song. It’s a delicate balancing act.

2 comments:

  1. Laughing with you! But I like looking up the meaning of new words, it really helps improve my vocabulary. It helps even more to look up words whose meanings you think you know but encounter in a setting that doesn't make exact sense. It could show you've you've been misusing the word (horrors!) all this time.

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    1. However, I keep forgetting what Ebenezer means; I just remember it's related to Samuel. Lemme look it up. From Merriam-Webster: "Origin and Etymology of ebenezer. Hebrew ebhen hā-ʽezer stone of help; from the application of this name by Samuel to the stone which he set up in commemoration of God's help to the Israelites in their victory over the Philistines at Mizpah (1 Samuel 7:12)." There you go.

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