Thursday, June 19, 2008

Bisi-bisihan




"You look tired, Lance," my classmate Chesca told me during lunch time.

"I am...and I still have many things to do," I replied, forcing a smile. I just got out of the lab to buy something to eat over at Fine Arts (where they sell cheap but delicious siomai--something you shouldn't miss for the world, I tell you).

In my mind was the lost list of responsibilities to finish, including the long experiment I had to do at 4pm, the mice I had to check, the meeting I had to cancel, the org requirements I had to fulfill.

That's how I am these days, by the way. Busy. And this time, it's for real.

At this point, I'm still getting used to the fact that I cannot enjoy my free time as much as I used to. Before I graduate next year, I want to immerse myself in extra-curricular activities, and also do well in my thesis--things I've never done since I entered college.

In a sense, I want to see how far I'd go...if I could juggle numerous commitments as well as other people do (or seem to do). Give it a sem, I told myself, and I could always forgo some of my responsibilities, if I couldn't manage them anymore.

So far, so good, though.

I think the reason why I'm still able to rejoice despite the fact that my to-do list is almost always full is that my prayer time has been so vibrant these past few days. My study series on the Acts has given me extraordinary perspectives on how a Christian must rely on the outworking of the Holy Spirit to effect changes in himself as well as in the Christ's Church. So far it has been an encouraging perspective. (Praise be to God for the Bible that continues to be a source of enlightenment and hope for me.)

The secret is to put everything in God's hands. Do all for His glory, as Paul in 1 Corinthians 10:31 so boldly proclaims it. And rely in His grace because it is sufficient.

Things don't always go my way these days. Sometimes, I get depressed, just like what happened yesterday when my cells were dislodged, no longer to be found. That was three week's worth of work, and it vanished. Just. Like. That.

But what's all that momentary failure compared to the pain Christ did on the cross to save me from my sins? I mean, surely that's trivial compared to matters concerning, say, eternity.

I hardly read my blog these days, let alone write something cohesive and sensible. But, believe it or not, I'm having fun. It's going to be one great rocky ride, but God will give me strength.

Tonight, I walked into my room dead-tired. After a day's work, I could wish for nothing else but a good night's rest.

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